I’m not the perfect mom
I am not the perfect mom.
Far from it.
I know my shortcomings – I give in too easily. I don’t spend enough time working on homework with her. I complain in front of her. I text at red lights.
This morning was one of those moments where your mom decision making capabilities are tested in front of an audience. Do I stand firm or reason, or do I trust my instinct? I bet you already know the answer to that.
The Princess Cupcake has been sick this week.
Not like really sick. Like nasty winter cold sick. No fever.
She’s stayed home twice this week (not consecutive days) to recover, although yesterday I had a sneaking suspicion it was not fully necessary.
She got up this morning with her usual bounce but as we got closer to leaving, she started the “I want Mommy” chant — but maintained she felt fine and was ready to go since staying home meant NO TV. I will admit, I did ask the hubs if I should keep her one more day.
I don’t know what it’s like at your house after too many days with Mommy. At least for my child, drop off for school the next day is gut-wrenching. Even I walk away crying. I figured there was a hint of separation anxiety in action, possibly for us both.
I was not looking forward to this but I was determined to maintain my steely exterior and tough-love my way out of her clenched hands.
We started the 45 minute drive to make it before the tardy bell.
We get to the classroom and as I was about to walk away when as predicted, the full-on meltdown happened. My mind logically said it’s just too much Mommy time, this is just result of cutting the cord from 6 days of the last week home with me. But my heart whispered she’s clingy because she doesn’t feel well.
The crying kept going. And the hugs got tighter.
And then there was the awkwardness as the teacher is looking at me like… “Seriously. Who’s the boss here?” and the kiddos asking Princess Cupcake, “What’s wrong?” while tears are still streaming down her face and her little body is shaking trying to hold in a wail.
So we went into the bathroom to discuss it – shielded from all the teeny tiny curious eyes.
And with her pitiful request for me to wipe her tears, the decision was made. I was bringing her home.
Raised eyebrow look from the teacher as we were walking out. No words. Just the look.
She may have thought I was an idiot for trying to send my kid to school when she’s sick. She may have thought I was letting the child win. She may have been thinking about cheesecake for all I know.
It doesn’t really matter because the munchkin has been sleeping for 2+ hours now.
And that means one thing: She did need more Mommy time. And I’m 100% okay with that no matter how you look at it.